Gone in 60 years (or longer)

There are some retarded people in the world. And to all the ignorant jerks who have never been inside an actual car before, let me give you some tips next time you break into mine:

1. People don't hide valuables inside their maps. So, pulling out all of the maps from the passenger seats will not help you find anything of value.

2. If you intend to steal all of the CDs out of my CD case, you may as well take the case with you. Thats the specific purpose of a CD case, to carry CDs.

3. I'm glad that you realized the spare key in the glove box can make the car turn on. But, while adjusting the stereo to play only out of the upper front speaker, you may as well have ejected the CDs from the CD player.

4. I would have suggested that you use that key to drive away with the car, but seeing as how you are unfamiliar with the interior of one, I sincerely doubt that you could figure out how all those pedals and wheels work.

5. Once again there is no magical hiding spot for valuables underneath the driver's seat. Sliding it all the way forward is not going to help you with anything.

So, I suggest to you, Mr. Idiot, that you take a good look at the next car you see and try to figure out what's going on in there, maybe even consider thinking about what sort of things people put inside cars and whether you are interested in those sorts of things.