From Russia With Love

Earlier today I was re-enacted "The Man on the Silver Mountain," by which I mean I was skiing with a Russian-American couple. Now, skiing was fun, but this here post concerns the more important subject of Russian comedy. Without further ado, I present exhibit A:

A man is at a farmer's market when he comes across a stand selling gigantic potatoes. In addition to being large, these potatoes are alll sorts of wierd colors and some even have what look like eyes. Immediately, the man says, "These are fatastic. I'll take three!" A woman shopping nearby turns and asks, "Are you sure you want to buy those? Don't you know their from Chernobyl?"

The man replies, "Yes, of course, they're for my mother-in-law."

Now that you have that comedy meltdown under your belt, here is Exhibit B, which was prefaced with, "This is why Russian jokes don't translate:"

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest on her way to deliver a basket of pies to her Grandmother, when she heard the pounding of feet coming her way. Naturally assuming that this was a bunch of hunter's coming to rape her. She decided her best course of action was to take off her underwear and lay down and cover her eyes. But, the pounding of feet just went on past and she arose to find her basket and underwear gone. Thinking she got off lucky, she began walking on her way when she heard the feet again. Laying down once more, she heard the pounding of feet go past. Arising this time, she found her basket back, but empty and her underwear neatly folded on top along with a note.

"Pies delivered, underwear washed and pressed" -Signed the Boy Scouts


Yep, Russian jokes.

For all you out there eagerly waiting, my "performance" at the Physics Department Holiday Party has now been ripped to DVD. Unfortunately, the file is too large to host anywhere, but the audio track should be up soon. Enjoy in moderation this holiday season.