And the Beyonce goes to...

So, I just got done watching the finale of "The Bachelorette." Why was I watching the Bachelorette, you might ask? Well, I made dinner and decided to watch a little television as I ate and flipped on the tube, only to see the Bachelorette making out with some dude. Needless to say that I was hooked and needed to know how this sordid tale of romance and betrayal would play out. About two hours later I was sorely disappointed when reality TV turned out to be a little too real as the Bachelorette ended without a money shot when she rejected both men on the grounds that 6 weeks was too short to form a long term relationship. This got me thinking about the perfect relationship show and Mark Burnett better watch his back cause I'm coming out with "The Player." This show will center around a Bill-Belamy-like character who will have to juggle multiple relationships while the producers conive to produce awkward moments where "Bill Belamy" must explain his way out of sticky situations. Pure ratings gold!

In other television watching news, I tuned in to Chris Rock hosting the Beyonce's last night. Good things about Chris Rock hosting the Beyonce's: Getting to see Martin Lawrence. Bad things about Chris Rock hosting the Beyonce's: Martin Lawrence wasn't hosting. So, the fun part about watching is getting into the heads of the schlocky producers who decide to show Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas whenever anyone Hispanic is nominated or seeing how Samuel L. and Olivia Newton John will react to John Travolta's presentation speech. That and getting to see who has been dipping into Goldie Hawn's massive bowl of coke. This years award goes to Dustin Hoffman and of course Catalina Moreno, while the lifetime achievement award goes to Robin Williams.