Dear Miss Manners

Yesterday in class, the person sitting next to me was producing the most unappetizing sounds I have ever heard. I believe that he was throwing up into his mouth and then swallowing the contents throughout the class. I was concerned for my own safety as he appeared to be ready to loose the contents of his stomach on several occasions as he leaned forward precipitously. I am not that well aquainted with the said individual and was unsure of the proper course of action. What are your thoughts?

I also have been participating in a tradition of going to a local burrito shop every Wednesday night. We have become such regulars that the guys behind the counter started calling off one of the girls orders before she opened her mouth. This spurred me to change my order from the usual grilled chicken to carne asada. I figured that if the Carne Asada costs twenty cents more it must be better. However, I was sorely disappointed. Do you think it ws rude of Gordo's to serve me something they knew I wouldn't like?

Uncouth on the Coast


Dear Uncouth,

I am sorry but I can't help you out with Ralph Pukenstein over there. On the other hand, the lesson you should learn from your burrito experience is that pork is the other white meat and that the business card for Digital Maven means Digital Stomach in Norwegian. Also, I've noticed you slouching, try to work on your posture. If you need an example to aspire to, the late Johnny Carson had the most impeccable posture I have ever seen.

Sincerely,
Judith Martin
aka Miss Manners