The Future is Now!

So, you've probably noticed that there is a lot of evidence that the apocalypse is nigh. And no, not this apocalypse, but rather the one foretold here.

First sign of the apocalypse
Robots shall gain the power to pursue the humans by running. It will be very normal running that does not look like they are trying to steal the crown jewels.

Second sign of the apocalypse
The cars shall gain the power to drive themselves. Though fear not, for most likely this will begin with buses.

Third sign of the apocalypse
The one known as BMax shall speak poorly to the robot voice from the gas company. When the robot voice asks for clarification, Bmax will begin to apologize before he realizes that he is a dumbass.

When all these signs have come to pass the future shall be thus.

Pray that our robot overlords show us mercy.

Blah-Biddy-Blah-Blah...

Not much new to report, though I did see this

at midnight on opening night no less. And that picture pretty much sums it up doesn't it?

As you can see to your left, the sidebar of this here blog got redone. First, of all I have a new poll out on a very non-trivial subject (so memorizing all those damn trivial pursuit cards won't help you none). The final results for the last poll had Dennis Madalone narrowly edging John Ashcroft 3-2. All five participants will be getting official NHLPA replica hockey pucks signed by yours truly to comemorate your devotion to the American way.

Another new item featured on the sidebar is the clickable: "Now Hear This!" This is where I will post albums, aka a bunch of mp3s by the same artist (for all you Generation Osama-Trauma babies out there), that I am currently listening to and that you should listen to as well, if you know whats good for you, punk! The current selection is the Brian Eno classic "Another Green World." Before creating ambient, Msr. Eno crafted catchy pop music with your favorite prog rock heroes: Phil Collins and Robert Fripp. Listen to it, your ears will thank you, punk!

News from the Front

Here are things that have happened to me recently. I'm going to be working for Alex "Respect-the-Mustache!" Zettl over the summer.

His lab is doing a lot of interesting stuff. For instance, they made the world's smallest motor last year.

The little axle in the middle is only a couple of atoms wide. ZANY! I'll be doing "transport measurements." Stay tuned to find out what that means, cuz I don't know yet.

I can now now solve one of these puppies.

Whereas, Erno Rubik solved his eponymous cube in only one month, it took me 6. According to my rough calculations, that means I am exactly 6 times as smart as Msr. Rubik.

I found out that this movie was having a special screening with Wayne Coyne in attendance.

But alas, it is showing on Wednesday when, once again, I can't go. Wait, what's that? We have a consolation prize behind door number two...

What's a Sith? Why does it want revenge? Who knows? But, those previews got me psyched and I already have my ticket for NerdCon 2005.

If you would like to learn more about any of the pictures in today's entry, visit your local library or just click 'em. They're linktastic!

L. Ron is the Anti-Virus

While vacationing in LA last week, DJ and I got free tickets to the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition. This is basically a museum where you are given a guided tour. And the guided tour gets much more normal as it progresses. For those of you that don't know much about Scientology, I'll give you a brief overview.

1) Scientology will cure you of smoking drugs. Mainly, through the use of this graphic:


2) It will cure you of gayism using stern lectures given by the straightest man alive.


3) The most famous celebrity Scientologist is Edgar Winter.


4) Apparently, L. Ron Hubbard claims he is the Anti-Christ.

And on that note, I am off to prepare for the apocalypse...meow!

They should call it Whitejack

So, I have returned from Las Vegas where I went with DJ and Paul for DJ's sister's wedding. You can read an account of some of our adventures on Paul's Blog. My last night in LA, Paul and I watched Ocean's 12 (is the new 11). And I've said it before, but I'll say it again; Clooney-Pitt is the neu Newman-Redford. The flick is good, but not up to the level of the original for several reasons:

1) Not enough Bernie Mac
2) A lack of quality wiggery
3) There can never be enough cons
4) Seriously, where was Bernie Mac?

All in all, I had a delightfully fun vacation for the past week. Now it is back to the grind, as I am finishing up the semester and beginning a research job for the summer. In related news, my internet at home is disconnected in preparation for my upcoming move. So, expect to see less frequent postings for the next couple of weeks.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday!

Hey ya'll!

I'm in L.A. with Paul and DJ. We spent the day at Six Flags: Magic Mountain and rode nine, count 'em, rollercoasters. I will only regale you with the review of the best coaster in the park. This coaster came highly reccommended by two facts:

1) The coaster comes screaming over your head at jet-engine decibels when walking around the park
2) While standing below the coaster a drop of blood fell on my cheek

If the coaster is loud enough and fast enough to blow apart someone's eardrum then it must be the best right, right? Of course it was! And the reasons (which double as clues to help you guess the ride):

a) The entrance line was extremely brightly lit.
b) The line was oversupervised by park employees
c) The ride was not an old ride that was updated with a new movie theme.
d) Superman does not stand at the top of the ride.

Yay! If you guessed "Batman Begins," then you were wrong because that is a movie coming out this summer. Those of you who guessed "Superman: The Escape" win the complimentary fourteen second thrill ride of your life.