Bmax Comes Alive

I reckon that Bmax fellow swings by this corner now and then

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

From Russia With Love

Earlier today I was re-enacted "The Man on the Silver Mountain," by which I mean I was skiing with a Russian-American couple. Now, skiing was fun, but this here post concerns the more important subject of Russian comedy. Without further ado, I present exhibit A:

A man is at a farmer's market when he comes across a stand selling gigantic potatoes. In addition to being large, these potatoes are alll sorts of wierd colors and some even have what look like eyes. Immediately, the man says, "These are fatastic. I'll take three!" A woman shopping nearby turns and asks, "Are you sure you want to buy those? Don't you know their from Chernobyl?"

The man replies, "Yes, of course, they're for my mother-in-law."

Now that you have that comedy meltdown under your belt, here is Exhibit B, which was prefaced with, "This is why Russian jokes don't translate:"

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest on her way to deliver a basket of pies to her Grandmother, when she heard the pounding of feet coming her way. Naturally assuming that this was a bunch of hunter's coming to rape her. She decided her best course of action was to take off her underwear and lay down and cover her eyes. But, the pounding of feet just went on past and she arose to find her basket and underwear gone. Thinking she got off lucky, she began walking on her way when she heard the feet again. Laying down once more, she heard the pounding of feet go past. Arising this time, she found her basket back, but empty and her underwear neatly folded on top along with a note.

"Pies delivered, underwear washed and pressed" -Signed the Boy Scouts

Yep, Russian jokes.

For all you out there eagerly waiting, my "performance" at the Physics Department Holiday Party has now been ripped to DVD. Unfortunately, the file is too large to host anywhere, but the audio track should be up soon. Enjoy in moderation this holiday season.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Sweatshirt Phone Home

Anyone who has seen me recently has probably seen me wearing a red hooded sweatshirt. Some people might even say it makes me look like a young Drew Barrymore.

Now that you have a clear picture of me wearing that sweatshirt in your mind, have Will Smith erase it from your memory because that shirt was stolen! (sidenote: for anyone who is still searching for my christmas present, that previous link just might help you out)

Anyways, I was at a party last night and it being cold outside, I was clad in the aforementioned sweatshirt. Also at this party there was a guy who was making jokes about stealing something from the party like the host's microwave or refridgerator. Haha, so funny! When I get ready to leave,

Me: Where is my shirt?
Someone: Was it next to the door?
Me: Yeah
Someone: I saw that guy take it, at first I thought it was Steven's but he still had his
Me: What sort of man steals another man's shirt, especially when its cold outside???

In better news, my subscription to Rhapsody has allowed me to catch up on the music I missed last year. On the right is one such release, Spoon's Gimme Fiction. Pure pop bliss. And thanks to some tips from Adam Hack-Attack Pash, I've been able to incorporate all of my email addresses into my gmail acount. Also, my web-browser has been tricked out with all sorts of useful extensions. Which is getting a virtual jump start on my goal of getting things organized before I leave for vacation.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Happiest Place on Earth

This past weekend I did a lot of things; flew in space, visited a haunted mansion, met a robot and was convinced not to kill myself. How did I do all these things, you ask? Well, it took a little bit of magic, the magic of imaginoventioneering! And the only people who have that type of magic are Mickey Mouse and Jesus. So in honor of their 50th and 2005th birthdays, I visited Disneyland (and saw Its a Wonderful Life for the first time). It was good holiday cheer with good friends. Hip, hip, hooray for egg nog and cookies!

In more life altering news, I have been drafted into a powerful task force. And just what might our powerful task be? If you answered, "to run next year's Poughkeepsie marathon," then you would be half right. Because we are planning to run the Chicago marathon next October. Wish me luck as I wish upon a star.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Festival of Lights

If you are reading this right now, you might have too much time on your hands (and you might be a redneck). But, regardless of how much time you have on your hands (or red on your neck), here's someone who has more.

Happy Holidays from all of us at the Electric Company!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Noah built himself an arky-arky

So, I received a Christmas mixtape in the mail last week and it made me realize that Ella Fitzgerald has the sexiest voice in the world, especially check her out on "What are you doing New Year's?" An honorable mention goes out to Zooey Deschanel, who does her best Ella impersonation on the Elf Soundtrack. Also in music news, the internet is awesome! Well, at least my Rhapsody music service is. How else can you explain it suggesting that I might enjoy The Best of Edgar Winter. Boy howdy, would I!

Speaking of computers being radical, here are two cool/super cool facts about my research group's computer system. Our server is named Cheney because it is located in an undisclosed location. To get to the members only section of our website you follow the same secret link as featured in the hit motion picture, The Net.

To conclude the complete triviality of this post, I have updated the poll on the right. The last poll finally determined that the ribcage is the worst bone. Now, some may argue that the ribcage is not a single bone, but I'm going to invoke the well known Silverman Rule, which states that "if its all connected its one nacho."