Disappointing Moments in Pop Culture History

No talk of Timberlake-induced wardrobe malfunctions or the seven week actors strike that stopped you from finding out who shot JR. Nope, just ordinary pop culturabilia that came out recently and got three thumbs down; one from me, one from Roeper and one from Siskel (Thats right Ebert, you're on the list!)


Paul Simon
Surprise
The big suprise about this release is how much... I can't bear to finish that, but seriously this album is a stinker. I thought, Paul Simon produced by Brian Eno sounds like a good idea, right? Nope, it sounds like schlocky Graceland b-sides. Wait, that makes sense, Paul Simon hasn't done anything good in twenty years. For a much better collaboration of Eno and an aging rocker, check out Fripp & Eno's Equatorial Stars, but only if you like the ambient side of the moon.


The Secret Machines
Ten Silver Drops
The Secret Machines last album, Now Here is Nowhere, had super heavy drums, monster synths and in general brought some serious rock. With this album, they went much more poppy, and not the good kind of poppy. They kept their indulgent song structure (only one less than 5 minutes), but scaled back all the good parts of their over indulgence. A much better choice for pure rockage is Wolfmother's debut. Seriously, check out that cover art and how can you go wrong with lyrics like, "We've been drinking on the wine, That we drank from the serpents vine, Now we live in another time."


X3:The Last Stand
Plot synopsis: Wolverine cries, a main character is killed off screen, the titular character is vaporized, Wolverine cries somemore, Kitty Pryde tempts Iceman with some Hard Candy, some more main characters make cameos, no one touches a black man's radio, pan out on Wolverine crying. One final question the movie left me with though, remind me again just how exactly Halle Berry won an oscar for Best Actress? Following the rule of threes, I should have known that this was going to be a poor movie. But bucking that trend, Die Hard 3 was pretty awesome. Then again it had Samuel L. in it. Speaking of Sammy, he has the cure for any pop culture disappointment coming out at the end of the summer.