7 Different Kinds of Smoke

I recently returned from my cousin's wedding in Iowa, which you might already know if you also happen to be someone I randomly bumped into (Biddy Barnes and Nick "Chatty Cathy" Barnes I'm talking to you!) The wedding was fantastic and I got to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in several years. All and all it was a good trip, except...

On Thursday night I went out to eat at a place called Hu Hot, which is one of these Mongolian grill chains where you go through a buffet line and pick out what you want, throw it in a bowl and they cook it for you on a giant round table. Now that would all be well and good, but Msr. Steve Wilkens and I had the grand notion that for our second plate we should go for a suicide, ie. one of everything in the line (well, actually we decided on two, so it was more of a Noah's Ark).

As is the case with most groundbreaking ideas, this was not well received. And the person not receiving it was señor stomach. I hearby declare that the Surgeon General put a warning on all buffet lines that combining 7 kinds of meat, 13 fruits and vegetables and 24 different sauces is not a healthy way to build the food pyramid.

In the healthy category though, check out those training miles go up. I'm on week 4 of my official training regimen for the Chicago Marathon. Go, go gadget legs!

¿Quién es kyle xy?

I recently took a trip down to Southern California and while there I was struck with a singular question:

Yes, who exactly is Kyle XY? I believe he has something to do with a television show to appear this fall. Whoever he is, I am calling his belly-buttonless form into service to help me rate the summer blockbusters I have seen recently.

Superman Returns

The Man o' Steel Returns! And where ws he hiding all along? Well, growing up in Des Moines and attending the University of Iowa of course. A fun summer extravaganza, though Superman remains the most inexplicable superhero. What exactly are the limits of his powers? I mean the guy can spin time backwards, yet he tends to spend a disproportionate amount of time time thwarting bank robberies and other petty crimes.

The Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

Not nearly as fun as the original and not to ruin the ending, but it was only half of a movie. Johhny Depp famously based his character of Cap'n Jack Sparrow on the Rolling Stones' Keith Richards and incredible as it may seem, I believe that ol' Keith may have more life pumping through his undead veins than this movie.

A Scanner Darkly

If you had enough patience to sit through the inane pseudointellectual psychobabble (much like that preceeding phrase) of Richard Linklater's Waking Life you were treated to a visually interesting film. Fortunately, you don't have to torture yourself cause Ricky has made a much better remix called A Scanner Darkly. He replaced all those pointless conversations with paranoid stoner conversations, which are at least humorous to listen to. He also decided to add a plot to the movie, which drags at times, but ends with a positive message for all the young folks in the audience.

Next up on my list of summer movies is You, Me and Dupree starring Behind Enemy Lines' own Owen Wilson. Speaking of Mr. Wilson (Dennis!!!), my subscription to Time Magazine delivered the goods once again as it informed me that Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson are cowriting a new feature. One can only imagine what that will entail...

¿Habla Español?

This Sunday I was outside in a park working on my farmer's tan while watching the World Cup final on a big screen. While the final was pretty disappointing, it did lead Zinedine (I won't tell you what mysterious visit coaxed me back from retirement) Zidane to deliver a wicked headbutt to Marco (I won't say what the insult was, except it wasn't about terrorism or his mother) Materazzi's chest.

That headbutt made me realize something; I should learn how to speak spanis so that in four years I could watch the Spanish language feed of the World Cup (Copa Mundial for those of you who have a head start) and not have to listen to the idiotic English announcers tell me about how many grapes Italy grew last year while covering up all the action on screen with giant graphics.

The more I thought about it, the better I realized that this idea was. Speaking of Spanish language television, I could get addicted to Telenovelas such as Heridas de amor or Barrera de amor.

Finally, I can take a trip to Spain, which from what I hear is quite possibly the ideal country. Everyone goes for a siesta each afternoon and takes the whole month of August off!

Now you're talking, or should I say, ahora usted está hablando.

Photo Fun!!!

Faithful readers (are there really any of you out there?), might remember a while ago when I mentioned a rather mundane rafting trip. Well, the photos finally came back from the Edison digitizing plant and here's a view down the calm stream we were on.

Psych!

The real river we went down was this one:
Double psych!

Those are really waterfalls from my trip to Yosemite two weeks ago. My roommate Andrew and I decided to make a blitzkrieg journey up the mist trail to the top of half dome (8 miles/4800' up and back down) in one day. It ended up being a 20 hour day starting from Berkeley at 3:30AM, a long but fun-packed trip. Now you too can ride along with me from the comfort of your home or office (don't tell the boss) on a photo journey to the tippy-top.

The so-called mist trail bore the feared Shamu© warning, "You will get wet!"


The trail winds up past two waterfalls (one of them you saw at the begining) and in June you will definitely get drenched as you hike past and up the ledges to the top of the second. If you look back, you might think, "Hey we're kinda getting high aren't we? But its the good kind, not the kind the pushers are always trying to sell me!"


From the top of the waterfalls the trail turns and begins the real ascent of half dome. After hiking a ways down the trail, the peak comes into view.

(Follow that line of ants to the cables you have to scramble up for the final 300')

This is where the dangers truly begin. You must do battle with the rattlesnake guarding the trail to prove that you are brave (and the stone can not break you, the knife can not cut you, the arrow can not pierce you, paper, rock, scissors).


Don't let all the danger distract you though, you've still gotta take time to stop and smell the roses.


Finally, after much struggling you reach the top, where you can taunt Nature for besting her once again. Look at me taunt!


But don't count your chickadees yet, you've still gotta get down and there's a fast way and a slow way. Warning: fast way not for the faint of heart or those suffering from Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window Disease.

Lets get physical!

So, I'm in a summer softball league and we had our first game this evening. Unfortunately, we lost 3-5, which is pretty good considering a couple of our players had never really seen a softball before. The game was also called after 5 innings, because 50 minutes were up. That is one wierd rule among many for the league. Since its a coed league, there are a lot of rules intended to "protect" the fairer sex, which the females on our team felt pretty patronized by.

But enough whining, onto the important thing about stick ball, the stats:

Hitting:
2 RBI Double
2 bases on a pop fly error

Fielding:
No errors

Well, I say no errors, because I didn't take any shots to the crown jewels, but there were some plays where someone of a higher caliber could have probably made an out or two. Someone like Bo Jackson.


When I was little and owned his rookie card (worth billions now I'm sure), I heard that he could throw the ball all the way from the outfield wall to home plate. I don't know if thats true. You'd have to ask Bo, he knows Bo.